You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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