I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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