Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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