K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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