it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
