Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
jump out the window naked night went bad
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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