Dual....:-)
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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