I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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