Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
