i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
