This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
