Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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