Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
