All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
NoShamevember. You game?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
