Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
did i just pee glitter
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize