I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
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He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
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I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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