Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
