he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
