There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
