Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
