I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
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