I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
