Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
