For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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