Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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