if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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