you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
