some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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