Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
