and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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