I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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