the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize