yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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