Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
