How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize