I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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