sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
