she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
