you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
