Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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