His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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