i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
