it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
