How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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