So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
