DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
