Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
