can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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