His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Randomize
