so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
