After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
