Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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