Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
