there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
