I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
