dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
