If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
