we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
