You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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