girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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