Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
