Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
