I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
